There are times that something is right in front of your face and you don’t see it. I look back on those two days, and I’m embarrassed to say that it never crossed my mind. I had walked those steps over and over, and not once did I wonder how the children reached the third floor to see us. How… Read More
First Moments… I’m meeting her in 18 days. A 23-month old toddler, who has no idea that a mother is flying across the ocean. A little one who does not know the moments and months of anticipation and love from afar. A little girl who does not understand that I have looked at her picture every day and dreamed of… Read More
There’s this strange dichotomy that I am living. One month ago, I sat in orphanages where children like my son, Joel, die. I’m not exaggerating, I’m not sensationalizing, boys like my son die. You see, he has a facial deformity, he is deaf, and he cannot see well. These things equate to “rejected”, “unadoptable”, “hidden” and “unworthy” in orphanages across… Read More
When I first entered the foster care arena, I actually thought I could save a child. I thought that I could pour love into a poor, little child and their lives would be fixed. I thought LOVE could fix anything and I also thought I was a pretty good parent. And then, we started to receive placements. I’ll never forget… Read More
I have been asked everyday about my trip. Well-intended, “How was your trip” questions. And honestly, I find that I lie. I lie and say “it was hard, but we did a lot of good”. And the lie tastes bitter on my tongue. It was more than hard, and there was not a lot of good. When I disembarked from… Read More
I hung up the phone and looked at the numbers I had written on the yellow post-it. I wasn’t sad, I was just numb. His IQ scores were very low and yet I didn’t know how to process this. Part of me wanted to grieve, but another part was angry. It wasn’t that I expected him to be genius, it… Read More