Of course I’m sad you are all going back to school and won’t be at home saying, “I’m bored” 583,901 times before lunch and the house might actually stop looking like an episode of Hoarders and I won’t sound like a song on “repeat”, saying things like –
- Stop using your squirt gun on your sister, the windows, the furniture, the cat.
- Please pick up your swimsuit off the hardwood floors, the couch, the bathroom sink, my bed.
- Who went to the bathroom and didn’t flush? Don’t make me do DNA testing…
- We ate breakfast 10 minutes ago, you cannot be starving for a popsicle…and I don’t believe an Otter Pop ever saved anyone from starvation.
- Shut the front door, shut the back door, shut your trap door..
- Quit ARGUING, TATTLING, FIGHTING or I’ll tell on you.
Ellie – Silas squirted me with the squirt gun! (crying hysterically as she wipes the water off her face like it’s acid)
Me – OK, but why are you crying?
Ellie – Because he squirted me with water and I got all wet!
Me – You are swimming in the pool…(there is no logic folks)
So yes, I’ll be sad when you go back to school and I’m at home all alone in the quiet, clean house. In two months, I’ll be wishing for summer break.
Twas the night before school starts
and all through the town,
the parents were celebrating
another summer down.
The backpacks were hung
on hooks by the door.
Brand new outfits and shoes
were laid out on the floor.
The children were tucked all snug
in their beds,
as visions of recess
danced through their heads.
I sat on the couch
with a decaf in hand,
and took a long look
at the lay of the land.
The kitchen is burdened
with dirty counters and plates
the laundry piled so high
NASA identified it from space
My house is in shambles
my nerves are all shot,
Yet I smile because
school starts at 8 on the dot.
So I grin ear to ear,
we once again survived
bored children, late bedtimes
and vacation car rides.
On the first day they go back
I’ll sit and I’ll savor
and think for you teachers
may the odds ever be in your favor!
